God’s love does not cause hurt.

I John 3:16

Hereby perceive we the love of God,
because he laid down
his life
for us:
we ought
to lay down
our lives
for the brethren.

Healing Hurts from Abusive Relationships

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Create in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me” [Psalm 51:10].
Healing begins in the heart. Despite what was done to the individual, if the heart is filled with hatred, spite, and desire for revenge, this leads to unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is a destructive spirit, similar to all other satanic influenced behaviours.

Prisoner of Your Past

Everyone has experienced some kind of disappointment and suffering in life. No one is immune to life-changing circumstances. They are the realities of life, and no one can escape their intrusion.
The source of hurts, pains, disappointments come from various areas [the workplace] and situations [relationships]. When those events take place, the heart is wounded, spirits are wounded, and emotions are traumatized.

People face all kinds of emotional wounds, and those wounds can be hidden secretly in the heart and covered by anger and expressed in anti-social attitudes and behaviours. In order for an individual to be free of emotional hurts of the past, the first place to begin is the heart. In both writings, David asked God to go to his heart to start the work of restoration and healing.
Emotional hurts create toxins which will keep the individual in the bondage of unforgiveness and emotional pain.

Identifying Toxins which are elements of bondage in the Heart

The toxins in the heart include hatred, malice, confusion, anger, fear, and an anxious spirit. The individual displays irritation, anger, loud outburst, rudeness, and difficulty.

  • Heart Searching – the Word through the Holy Spirit [Ps. 139;23-24, Ps. 66:18, Ps. 19:14]
  • Heart Cleansing – Psalm 24:3-5, Psalm 51:10]
  • Heart Restructuring/Restoration – [Psalm 51:10]

Taking Charge of Your Thoughts

Philippians 4:8 – Formula

  1. Your Thoughts Affect Your Emotions: Your Emotions Affect Your Behaviour.
  2. Our thoughts play a significant role in our desire to forgive. Genesis 6:5And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
  3. We must change negative thoughts before we can forgive [II Corinthians 10:5].
  4. Negative thoughts cause people to become desperate – anxious, frantic, hasty, distressed, despair

You must forgive to cleanse your heart.

  1. Matthew 15:19For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
  2. Jeremiah 17:9The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Process for Cleansing

You must prepare to eradicate your heart from all manner of toxins, which include hurts from the past.

  1. Admit that you are hurting [I John 1:8]
  2. Recompense no man evil for evil [Romans 12:17a, 19]
  3. Provide things honest in the sight of all men [Romans 12:17b]
  4. Avoid vengeance, pay back retaliation [Romans 12:19b; Matthew 5:38-42]
  5. Avoid slothfulness in business [Romans 12:11]
  6. Bless and do not curse verbally, or in your heart [Romans 12:14]
  7. Avoid long-standing anger [Ephesians 4:26]
  8. Do not plan to do evil [Romans 13:10, 14]
  9. Forgive quickly from your heart [Matthew 6:14, 15]
  10. Renewing your thoughts [mind] [Philippians 4:8]
  11. Control your emotions – temperance [Galatians 5:22,23]
  12. Control your behaviour [Ephesians 4:1]






Unforgiveness is a destructive spirit which keeps the heart hardened
and impenetrable for the Spirit of God to heal.


© 2022 Shekinah Theological College
We welcome your comments.

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