Dealing with Interpersonal Problems- reconciliation
If you believe that there is a problem in a relationship even if you cannot identify the situation, you should first pray for revelation so that you do not judge. In the Body of Christ, we must endeavour to always maintain unity of the Spirit according to the word (Ephesians 4:3).
Informing the individual will be first step for creating an atmosphere of unity in the relationship, family, group or church. Sometimes, there is really a problem where someone, maybe you committed an offense, and this infraction caused a break in the relationship. It is important to choose the right time and place for discussion, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide and direct your steps in finding out if there has been a problem.
We have two main Scriptures for restoration and reconciliation of relationships when or if there has been a problem.
Matthew 18:15-17; Matthew 5: 23-24.
- In both Scriptures you, are instructed to approach the other person. Reconciliation requires obedience to the word of God and His standards for maintaining fellowship; and expressing love and compassion toward the other individual. Not only do we see these instructions in the New Testament, but also in the Old Testament [Leviticus 5:15-18; Numbers 5:5-8].
- If you are at fault, or whoever is at fault, acknowledge this with honesty without blaming others for your mistake or behaviour.
- It is very important to acknowledge the wrong or fault before trying to fix the problem [James 5:16; I John 1:9].
- It would be worthwhile to show sincere sorrow and repentance when you are at fault [Psalm 51:16-17; II Corinthians 7:9-10].
- When you have both discussed the matter, the next step is forgiveness because reconciliation cannot take place before forgiveness is sought and given. This must be from the heart with a desire for the offender not to repeat the behaviour, or the offended not to mention it again to cause pain.
When you have caused or someone has hurt you, do not pretend that nothing happened and hide your feelings in your heart. This behaviour is deceptive, and you will be held captive in bondage of unforgiveness. Do not coerce the other individual to accept your forgiveness if he or she refuses to do so. Nevertheless, you have the Christian duty to forgive even if the other person professes the same belief. You are not the judge. Therefore, leave all into the hands of the Lord. Leave with a clear conscience and a right spirit.
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